John Stevenson « POETICKS

Archive for the ‘John Stevenson’ Category

Entry 1362 — A Haiku Review

Wednesday, February 5th, 2014

For today, a haiku review first appearing in Modern Haiku, then reprinted in my From Haiku to Lyriku.  It’s here because I needed something to post and pages 86 and 88 happened to be the pages I turned to when I opened that to grab something.  But I like my haiku reviews, even though they never made me famous.

StevensonPage86StevensonPage87Fixt

StevensonPage88fixt

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Entry 1117 — 3 Haiku « POETICKS

Entry 1117 — 3 Haiku

I’m pretty much out of it again, and have to pick up a new lawn mower then use it. So just the following haiku today:

rainy afternoon;
private eye (fictional)
exiting a cab

the Atlantic
before ships were anywhere on it
except its edges

9 faint winter poems
unseveraling
into long ago

They are from the scribbled notes I posted two days ago, the final versions of my still-not-done new long division poem’s quotient, dividend and sub-dividend product, respectively.

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One Response to “Entry 1117 — 3 Haiku”

  1. Conrad says:

    Bob,

    love the first one: very film noir-ish

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haiku « POETICKS

Posts Tagged ‘haiku’

Entry 134 — Ellipsis-Haiku

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

I’m still having “creative ideas” but having trouble bothering to put them on paper, even ones as easy to do that with as the ones that led to the following:

.

.

.

Good ideas (inspired by Marton Koppany’s recent Otoliths book) not yet finding their best presentation, it seems to me.

Entry 133 — Somewhat Awake Again, I Think

Friday, May 21st, 2010

I simply disconnected from my blog–just didn’t think of it for about a week until a day or two ago.  Then last night for some reason I started thinking about haiku and came up with the following poems that I thought worth making this entry for:

.

.                            early April night:
.                            barely a single haiku
.                            of moonlight in it

.

.                            the street’s cherry blooms,
.                            dazzling, yet almost grey
.                            besides the haiku’s

.

.

.

.

.

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Entry 52 — Some Conventional Haiku

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

Today’s entry is a repeat of one from Christmas day, 2005, with a few comments from today at the end of it:

25 December 2005: “clenched sky.” That’s one of the scraps in the notebook yesterday’s entry was about. Circa 1983. Never got into any poem of mine but may yet. Another scrap is the start in fading cursive of a sonnet I completed somewhere else on Dylan Thomas. I was momentarily quite taken by what the word, “steepled” did to its fifth line, “by his construction of a steepled truth,” for it took a while for me to realize the word was not “stupid.”

Other highlights include the following five unpublished haiku:

rain now as loud
against the northern side of the house
as the roof

rotting log
only part of forest floor
to show through melting snow

glimpsed tanned shoulder;
thin white string across it,
tied like a shoelace

bikini-bar dancer
showing off to her boy-friend,
me in between them

far enough from the storm
nearing the color-dotted beach
to see above it

I wrote these about the time I pretty much stopped writing conventional haiku. I quite like the storm one, probably because I still vividly remember the first Florida storm I saw from far enough away to see above–and to both sides–of it. I don’t think it’s a truly outstanding haiku, though. The one about the bikini dancer is fair in the wry sardonicism vein, I think. The one about the bikini string is nearly not a haiku, for it doesn’t really provide any haiku contrast; i.e., it’s a single-image description. On second thought, maybe it’s excitement versus the mundane: girl in bikini versus shoelace.

I dunno. The other two are very standard, but I’ve tried to improve them,anyway:

the rain now louder
against the house’s north side
than on the roof

rotting log:
only portion of the forest floor
to show through the snow

The first is slightly haikuish in the way it obliquely discusses a wind; the second re-uses a very over-done haiku theme, to wit: life goes on, or–more specifically–winter snow won’t win; but the theme is slightly warped toward freshness with the use of something a reader will take to represent a cohort of winter rather than a counter to it, until he realizes the cause of rotting.

Also in the notebook this bit of High Sagacity: “The Eastern Wise Man attempts to reduce his awareness to the size of his experience; the Western Wise Man attempts to increase the size of his experience to the size of his awareness.” Yep, I’ve always been Eurochauvinistic.

From today:

rotting log;
nothing else of the forest floor
showing through the snow.

Entry 23 — An Old Haiku of Mine

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

Today was another bad day for me (because both my bikes had flat tires so I had to walk to where I had an MRI for my bad back, then walk to the bicycle shop two miles from there to get tubes before going on home, another two miles, so I’m just going to post one entry from my old blog, #631, in its entirety–because it’s one of my best entries for the general poetry public, I think:

24 October 2005: Well, we lost electricity in my neighborhood for seven or eight hours due to Wilma, but we got through it with minimal damage. Naples, to the south, didn’t do so well. Sad for them, but someone had to lose–and one good thing about the outcome is that the weather people seem to have been on top of things all the way through, which is certainly reassuring. In my ideal world there’d be hurricanes–but the land to persons ratio would be so high no one would have to live anywhere near places like Naples. There’d still be places like Naples, but they would be staffed by commuters, and lived in by vacationers. (Down with over-population–which in my book is anything over ten million–for the whole world.)

Okay, the poetry-related subject of this entry is the following poem:

.                                            2 children’s
.                                 rained-around dry quiet spot
.                                               within forsythia

This, or something like it, was in my first book, poemns. After selling some of the copies of the book, I found something wrong with one of the other three poems on the sheet it was on, so removed the whole sheet from the remaining copies of the book. I think the printers failed to make a line in one of the poems go off the edge of the page as I’d intended it to. I should have a copy of the four poems somewhere but it’d take me a week to find them if I tried to, I’m sure.


I’ve used this poem elsewhere since the book, I believe. I want to discuss it here cbecause I consider it a near-perfect example of what I try for as a poet, which is simply to render, in as few words as possible, an image that will cause others as much pleasure as possible. This one accomplishes this through its (1) subject matter, which is (a) quotidianly likely to elicit most persons’ sympathy, (b) pretty, children generally coming off as cute, and forsythia as beautiful, (c) peaceful, the rain having to be little more than mist not to be getting through forsythia branches, and, most important, (d) archetypally resonant by representing Shelter and Companionship, as well as Spring (rain and forsythia, and human beings in their spring); and its diction, which includes the wonderful rained/round rim thyme (but, not, I’m sure that’s not original with me), the with/syth near-=rhyme and the dry/qui aft-rhyme (or whatever it is I’m calling traditional rhymes). Only now, by the way, did I realize that the latter rhymes were near- or full-rhymes. The poem is also effectively concise, and it draws on its being a haiku, for that adds haiku-depth to it (via what it picks up from the tradition, and all haiku before–and after–it).

To me, one of its points of greatest interest is in what it does not have, mainly, manywhere-at-once, or equaphorical layering. In a way, this is a virtue, for it clarifies it into a moment of particular intensity. Amusingly, that emphasizes its being a pure haiku–albeit one without quite the right syllable-count. I do consider its lack of equaphors (or metaphors and the like), in the final analysis, a defect. I continue to believe the very best poems express two or more simultaneous images. But poetry as a whole would suffer consequentially if every poem were equaphorical.

Real life did inspire the poet, by the way. The forsythia in it is from the yard of the Hyde House, as it was known, on Harbor View Island in Norwalk, Connecticut, that I lived in between the ages of 7 and 12. It actually formed a sort of hut, though I’m not sure they could have kept out even mist. I played in it from time to time but most remember my sister Louise, a year younger than I, playing some kind of queen’s court game in it with her friends Ellen and Cindy.

Ironically, just the other day I learned that the Hyde House I’ve been reminiscing about is no more. It was leveled to make way for two condominiums that have to be devastating the ambiance of the shabby-genteel little clump of mostly vacation homes on the island. Progress triumphs again.

note: the large print is stupid, but I’m using it to indicate large blocks of quoted material because I haven’t been able to figure out how to indent at this site (other than use periods as with the poem quoted within my quote–which would take too long to get right for long prose passages).


Entry 18 — More Comments on Old Blog Entries

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

In #622, #623 and #624 I apparently had little to say so presented a few snippets of autobiography–and the following poems done for jwcurry, some of them possibly in collaboration with him calling himself Wharton Hood:


.                               peeling out of
.                               a bullet’s stipend

.

.                                her skirt
.                                crows
.                                skhert splhurt

.


.                                cats sleep the sky here

.

.                                flowers strip
.                                footsteps
.                                to the moon

.


.                                 pond

.                                 dusk

.                                 Pan’s thoughts
.                                 appled in place

.

.                                 eyesigh pray supherSkIrT

.

.                                 miles of 3. a.m.
.                                 after the
.                                 haik

.

And that’s all for now, for i”m deep in another null zone.

Entry 10 — Nonsense, Etc.

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

Okay, back to Geof Huth’s haiku and why I consider it a specimen of nearsense, and what that means:

.              the car I didn’t notice                              isn’t there

This could be temporary nonsense, or a text that at first seems not to make sense but later does.  Its speaker may simply have driven his car past another car without noticing the other car.  At that point a companion’s remarking, “Hmmm, that car must be over fifty-years-old,” might cause the speaker to look in the direction where the old car should be and seeing no car–because it has moved.  He never noticed the car but knows it was there although it has gone.

The problem with this is that no companion is mentioned.  Moreover, the incident seems too minor to form the basis of a poem.  So I take it to be a paradox: one can’t notice that one has failed to notice something.  One can’t think there is a car somewhere that one did not notice since to do so indicates one noticed it.  Or can one notice not noticing?  It’s very confusing–coming close to making sense but never quite doing so.  It’s not pure nonsense (as a form of literature meant simply to amuse) nor is it willfully and sadistically completely meaningless the way constersense is.   There is thus something about it that gives pleasure–the way an optical illusion does, or the paradox, “This sentence is a lie.”

My tentative explanation for the pleasure is that we like reminders that existence is not wholly rational, wholly predictable.  The paradox performs a variation on the theme of reason.  It makes enough sense to prevent anger, but not enough to be fully satisfying in the long run–as a paradox.  But Huth’s poem is more than a paradox: it captures a human feeling we all have of suddenly being discontinuous with Existence–lost.  The universe has gone left while we were continuing right.

The difference between nearsense of this kind and constersense is that we share the feelings of the creator of nearsense but are the victims of the creator of constersense (unless we share his contempt for those who want existence to be reasonably reasonable and enjoy thinking of the pain he is inflicting on them).

Entry 9 — Poetry Employing Irrational Language

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

I have always wondered why anyone would make much of most Dada works.  It was evident that a good number of reasonably intelligent, sensitive people have, though.   Including friends of mine who have shown themselves quite capable of fashioning works I think vastly superior to their Dada works.

Then I came upon Geof Huth’s

.              the car I didn’t notice                              isn’t there

in the recentest issue of Haiku Canada Review.   Not Dada, but certainly nonsense, or so I at first thought.  I would now term it nearsense.   As

.              the crab boils filge at blargets       in the goamy fludge

it would have been nonsense, or a literary work which uses irrational language in order to amuse (in the view of most knowledgeable people encountering it).  As

.        car didn’t (e time)s into                       bleep blegg bllllg you

it would be constersense,  or a literary work whose textual matter seems chosen for no other purpose than to cause consternation–by seeming to be nearsense but ultimately not making sense, or proving amusing.

Then there’s temporary nonsense such as Joyce’s “cropse,” which at first seems either nonsense or constersense (and will always seem constersense to Philistines) but, given time, will quite rationally if poetically say “corpse” and “crops” simultaneously in succinctly sum up all the important cycles of human existence.

I have more to say about this, particularly about why the poem by Geof Huth is nearsense, but I’m too worn-out from another tiring day to do so until (I hope) tomorrow.

Entry 8 — Thoughts on Haiku

Monday, November 9th, 2009

A new Grummanism today, “constersense,” to go with an old one, “nonsense,” and one in between old and new, “nearsense.”

One item always worth taking a look at in the Haiku Canada Review is the page on which N. F. Noyes discusses haiku he likes.  One of them got me thinking about nonsense

.              the car I didn’t notice                              isn’t there

It’s by someone calling himself G. A. Huth.  About this Noyes says, “From a fourteenth century poet I quote: ‘Generally speaking, a poet requires some understanding of emptiness.’”

(An amusing comment to make in a discussion of the World-Expert in the praecisio.  See Geof’s blog for details on that if–shame on you–you don’t know what it is.)

Noyes goes on to say, “Here the sudden emptiness provides a strong “Aha!” experience, despite a seeming diregard for the haiku’s chief guideline of close observation, in ‘I didn’t notice.’”

(But I would contend that what the poet closely observed with his act of not noticing.)

Noyes was reminded of a haiku by Buson:

.                            Tilling the field:
.                       The cloud that never moved
.                            Is gone.

The other two haiku Noyes liked (as did I) are:

.                            a kicked can
.                            cartwheels
.                            into its echo                  –Jeffrey Winke

.                            transplanting
.                            four rose bushes
.                            transplanting bees       –Liz fenn


More on nonsense and related matters tomorrow, if I’m up to it.  (Final note: I at first mistyped Geof’ haiku as “the care I didn’t notice       isn’t there.”)

Entry 1119 — Dead Poem « POETICKS

Entry 1119 — Dead Poem

Poem-in-progress:

13June-A-small

I struggled with this thing most of yesterday–in my head.  Just couldn’t get it right.  I couldn’t choose between having the private eye and the Atlantic as its center.  This morning, I kept foundering, finally giving up: hence the title of this entry.  I tried to cheer myself up by think how good an instructional failure it was.  Then something close to the above occurred to me that seemed to make some sense.  I’m not yet satisfied with it. but may accept it into Mine Oeuvre as is.

Meanwhile, I like my private eye image.  Haven’t been able to think what to do with it, though.  (Thanks, Conrad, for your positive comment on it, by the way.  You see the image just the way I do!)

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Linguexpressive Poetry « POETICKS

Archive for the ‘Linguexpressive Poetry’ Category

Entry 134 — Ellipsis-Haiku

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

I’m still having “creative ideas” but having trouble bothering to put them on paper, even ones as easy to do that with as the ones that led to the following:

.

.

.

Good ideas (inspired by Marton Koppany’s recent Otoliths book) not yet finding their best presentation, it seems to me.

Entry 133 — Somewhat Awake Again, I Think

Friday, May 21st, 2010

I simply disconnected from my blog–just didn’t think of it for about a week until a day or two ago.  Then last night for some reason I started thinking about haiku and came up with the following poems that I thought worth making this entry for:

.

.                            early April night:
.                            barely a single haiku
.                            of moonlight in it

.

.                            the street’s cherry blooms,
.                            dazzling, yet almost grey
.                            besides the haiku’s

.

.

.

.

.

.

Entry 109 — An Old Sonnet

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

I was around twenty when I wrote this following sonnet.   A few days ago, I changed its last two lines–and, just now,  line one’s “eagle eyes” to “sharpened eyes.”  I have all kinds of trouble evaluating it.  It may be okay or even good, but it’s  so much in a long-disused style, in spite of its backwards rhyming that halfwits won’t consider rhyming, that I can’t read it with much enjoyment.

John Keats

He read of Greece; and then with sharpened eyes,
espied its gods’ dim conjurations still
in breeze-soft force throughout his native isle–

in force in clouds’ remote allusiveness,
in oceanwaves’ eternal whispering,
in woodlands’ shadowy impermanence.

Once cognizant of earth’s allure, he sought
a method of imprisonment – a skill
with which to hold forever what he saw.

The way the soil and vernal rain converge
in carefree swarming flowers, Keats & Spring
then intersected quietly in verse.

The realms he had so often visted
at once grew larger by at least a tenth.

Entry 71 — A Broadside from the Past

Monday, January 11th, 2010

.

I’m pretty sure this resulted from some contact I made in Chicago when there for an underground press conference.  Not sure when that was.  Maybe fifteen years ago. . .  I’ve since lost touch with everyone named on the page.  I do remember Ashley as a good kid and valuable undergrounder.

Entry 70 — More Poems from My Past

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

10 January 2010

One Poem poem I found while hunting for poems to add to my upcoming book that isn’t great but certainly expresses my opinion of those who believe poetry should be a servant of politics:

.    Protest Poetry
.
.    Poem was angry.
.    He had just read
.    yet another puritan’s denunciation
.    of poets who declined to write protest poems
.    about contemporary social ills, war, etc.
.    To demand that a poet write such things
.    made no more sense to him
.    than to demand that a cook
.    bake protest pies,
.    or a shoemaker
.    cobble protest
.    boots.
.
.    Let neurotic seekers of victims
.    to pass their self-pity off
.    as compassion for,
.    in high and correct-
.    in-all-the-best-circles profile
.    take care of the protesting.
.    All the social woe in the world
.    was but a comma compared with
.    that final enormous text
.    it was the poet’s duty
.    to add his yes to,
.    however frailly.
.
.    Or so Poem claimed
.    in the protest poem
.    he immediately wrote

.

A much different poem I found in my hunt was this:I’d come across a poem or poems by Ezra using the horizontally-split word technique and at once wanted to try it myself.  I don’t find the result satisfactory–but it has potential, I think.

Entry 57 — Minimalist Poem Sequence by Endwar

Monday, December 28th, 2009

#699 through #715 of my old blog are all about the anthology of visio-textual art Crag Hill and I co-edited ten years or so ago, Writing To Be Seen.  I do an entry on one piece by each of the contributors and a few miscellaneous ones.  Rather than run them again here, I’m going to put them all together as an essay in the Pages section to the right.  It’ll start off being a jumble but eventually will get organized, as with several still-disorganized pages.

To make this entry more than just an announcement, here is the sequence of minimalist permutational infraverbal poems (subverse, in his jargon, which I believe he got from his and my pal, Will Napoli) by Endwar that I featured in #716:

Oh, and a second announcement: today I began, and almost completed, my column for the next issue of Small Press Review. No big deal except that it’s a chore I’ve tried to get to every day for at least two months.  I feared I’d never do it!  Really.  I hope my getting to it means I’ll start being at least slightly productive again.  There’s so much I need to get done.
.

.                                                    add
.                                                    read

.                                                    a lie
.                                                    realize

.                                                    a verb
.                                                    reverb

.                                                    a mind
.                                                    remind

.                                                    a vision
.                                                    revision

.                                                    apt
.                                                    repeat

.                                                    a sign
.                                                    resign

.                                                    all
.                                                    real

.

Oh, and a second announcement: today I began, and almost completed, my column for the next issue of Small Press Review. No big deal except that it’s a chore I’ve tried to get to every day for at least two months.  I feared I’d never do it!  Really.  I hope my getting to it means I’ll start being at least slightly productive again.  There’s so much I need to get done.

Entry 55 — 4 Sonnets by Mike Snider

Saturday, December 26th, 2009

In my old blog entry #695, I presented a new version
of a sonnet I’d long been trying to write for Dylan
Thomas, another failure. In my next two entries I
had much better sonnets, all by Mike Snider, which I
commented on:

28 December 2005: Several weeks ago, my sometime
poetics foe at New-Poetry, Mike Snider, was kind
enough to send me a (signed!) copy of his chapbook,
44 Sonnets. Its first poem is this:
.

Petulant Muse

Another Sonnet? Baby, have a heart…
Try something multi-culti — a ghazal! –
Or let me really strut my stuff and start
An epic — Sing! Muse — oh, we’ll have a ball!

You’ll be important when we’ve finished it –
Just think — your name on Stanley Fish’s lips,
Our poem tausht in Contemporary Lit,
The fame of Billy Collins in eclipse!

And talk about commitment! I’ll be yours
For years! If we get stale, then, what the fuck?
My sister Callie knows some kinky cures
For boredom. You should see … no, that would suck.

Just fourteen lines, and then I get to rest?
I think our old arrangement’s still the best.
.

I’d call this a  serious light poem. By that I mean it’s clever
and fun and funny, but intelligent, with some involvement
with consequential Artists’ Concerns. In any event, I love
the consistent tone and the way it dances intellectuality
and academicism into its mix with its references to Fish,
the ghazal (Arabic poem with from 5 to 12 couplets, all
using the–good grief–same rhyme) and to Calliope, the
muse of epic poetry, the Internet just told me (the narrator
I would guess to be Thalia, the muse of comedy and of
playful and idyllic poetry). It feels like a painting of Fragonard
to me, which I mean as a compliment.

29 December 2005: Here are three more sonnets from Mike
Snider”s chap, 44 Sonnets:
.

The Fall

When we’d pile in my great-aunt’s Chevrolet
And drive to see the trees turned red and gold,
Grandma would scowl. “Reminds me of death,” she’d say.
“It means that everything is getting old.”

“Now, Helen, ‘ after winter comes the spring.’”
But she’d have none of that. “It came and went
For you and me, Sister.” And then she’d sing
“Go, tell Aunt Rhody,” just for devilment.

I have her picture, nineteen, sure to break
The heart of every man she ever met –
Another from her fifties, in a fake
Nun’s habit sucking on a cigarette,

And both are faithful. Grandma, you were right.
There’s nothing grows in Fall except the night.
.

Homework

My daughter’s learning how the planets dance,
How curtseys to an unseen partner’s bow
Are clues that tell an ardent watcher how
To find new worlds in heaven’s bleak expanse,

How even flaws in this numerical romance
Are fruitful: patient thought and work allow
Mistake to marry meaning. She writes now
That Tombaugh spotting Pluto wasn’t chance.

Beside her, I write, too. Should I do more
Than nudge her at her homework while I try
To master patterns made so long before
My birth that stars since then have left the sky?

I’ll never know. But what I try to teach
Is trying. She may grasp what I can’t reach.
.

What I know

Always, always, always, I know this first–
My dearest girl is gone, my daughter Lee
I loved not well enough to keep with me–
Of all the things I’ve failed to do, the worst.

Her poet mother’s supple brain was cursed
To learn the language of pathology.
When surgery failed they turned to drugs and she
Began to dream of torture, dreams she nursed

To memories of children murdered by
Her fathers and her mother and her will.
I could not hold her to the truth. She found
At Duke a doctor who decided I

Was fondling Lee. The judge said no, but still
She took my Lee and held her underground.
.

I posted these on the date of this entry, then wrote
over the entry, so lost it. I seem to do something like
that every three or four months, I don’t know why.
The remarks I lost were penetrating, I’m sure, but I
remember them only vaguely. One thing I remember
is marveling at how smoothly well these poems (and
the rest of Snider’s poems in his book) carry out the
aims of Iowa plaintext lyrics–but employing rhymes
(note, for example the abbaabba of the last one’s
octave!) and fairly strict meter. Ergo, they deal
sensitively with common human situations and end in
effective epiphanies, all more or less conversationally–
but with the plus of the significantly extra verbal
music that meter and rhyme can provide.

One value of being forced to re-type, and re-consider
a poem one is critiquing, as I’ve had to do with these,
is that it can sometimes lead to an improved interpretation.
That’s what happened to me just now. For who knows
what reason, I didn’t realize that the persona of the poem
was writing poetry, so had him working on astronomy. So
I missed the wonderfully fertile juxtaphor (implict metaphor)
of writing verse for astronomy (and the ones of either for
doing homework, or learning in general). And of poems for
the sky-charts–explained sky-charts–of astronomy. All
this along with the now stronger explicit comparison of the
father’s work toward mastery of poetry with his daughter’s
toward mastery of schoolwork, and the simple, conventional,
but not pushy moral of the poem, “trying is what counts.”
Consequently, I now count this poem a masterpiece; the
others are “only” good solid efforts. Good brief character
studies, too.

In my lost comments, I mentioned the value of formal
verse to its engagents for finding an order for life’s
difficulties–and suggesting that they, like similar difficulties
timelessly made into similar art, will pass. I also referred
to the pleasure an engagent of a sonnet or other piece
of formal verse, when effective, will get from the poet’s
dexterity–like someone listening to a fine pianist playing
Rachmaninoff, say, getting both musical pleasure, and a
kind of (voyeuristic, sub-behavioral kinesthetic) pleasure
from his physical skill at the keyboard. I’m sure I came up
with a somewhat origianl third value, but now I can’t
remember what it was. No doubt, it will become famous
as Grumman’s lost insight the way Fermat’s lost proof did.

Entry 52 — Some Conventional Haiku

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

Today’s entry is a repeat of one from Christmas day, 2005, with a few comments from today at the end of it:

25 December 2005: “clenched sky.” That’s one of the scraps in the notebook yesterday’s entry was about. Circa 1983. Never got into any poem of mine but may yet. Another scrap is the start in fading cursive of a sonnet I completed somewhere else on Dylan Thomas. I was momentarily quite taken by what the word, “steepled” did to its fifth line, “by his construction of a steepled truth,” for it took a while for me to realize the word was not “stupid.”

Other highlights include the following five unpublished haiku:

rain now as loud
against the northern side of the house
as the roof

rotting log
only part of forest floor
to show through melting snow

glimpsed tanned shoulder;
thin white string across it,
tied like a shoelace

bikini-bar dancer
showing off to her boy-friend,
me in between them

far enough from the storm
nearing the color-dotted beach
to see above it

I wrote these about the time I pretty much stopped writing conventional haiku. I quite like the storm one, probably because I still vividly remember the first Florida storm I saw from far enough away to see above–and to both sides–of it. I don’t think it’s a truly outstanding haiku, though. The one about the bikini dancer is fair in the wry sardonicism vein, I think. The one about the bikini string is nearly not a haiku, for it doesn’t really provide any haiku contrast; i.e., it’s a single-image description. On second thought, maybe it’s excitement versus the mundane: girl in bikini versus shoelace.

I dunno. The other two are very standard, but I’ve tried to improve them,anyway:

the rain now louder
against the house’s north side
than on the roof

rotting log:
only portion of the forest floor
to show through the snow

The first is slightly haikuish in the way it obliquely discusses a wind; the second re-uses a very over-done haiku theme, to wit: life goes on, or–more specifically–winter snow won’t win; but the theme is slightly warped toward freshness with the use of something a reader will take to represent a cohort of winter rather than a counter to it, until he realizes the cause of rotting.

Also in the notebook this bit of High Sagacity: “The Eastern Wise Man attempts to reduce his awareness to the size of his experience; the Western Wise Man attempts to increase the size of his experience to the size of his awareness.” Yep, I’ve always been Eurochauvinistic.

From today:

rotting log;
nothing else of the forest floor
showing through the snow.

Entry 51 — “Crackers”

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

A sloshily sentimental new Poem poem of mine:

Crackers

Sadness occasioned by the expensive crackers
she particularly liked and Poem
would have bought her because they were on sale
dissolving into the shimmer of the
supermarket parking lot’s cars, itself dissolving
in the reasons in the still-extant
memories of the first human beings
that our species shall endure.

It’s pure sincerity, and entirely based on reality–
the crackers part–but . . . ?

Entry 48 — Full Effectiveness in Poetry

Saturday, December 19th, 2009

I’m skipping ahead to old blog entry #796 today to make a point about my recent cryptographiku. #796 has Cor van den Heuvel’s poem:

.                                               tundra

I go on in the entry to say I believe Eugen Gomringer’s “Silencio,” of 1954, was the first poem to make consequential  visiophorically expressive use of blank space:

.                      silencio silencio silencio .                      silencio silencio silencio .                      silencio          silencio .                      silencio silencio silencio .                      silencio silencio silencio

I finish my brief commentary but then opining that van den Heuvel’s poem was the first to make an entire page expressive, the first to make full-scale negative space its most important element. Rather than surround a meaningful parcel of negative space like Gomringer’s masterpiece, it is surrounded by meaningful negative space. I’m certainly not saying it thus surpasses Gomringer’s poem; what it does is equal it in a new way.

I consider it historically important also for being, so far as I know, the first single word to succeed entirely by itself in being a poem of the first level.

Then there’s my poem from 1966:

.                 at his desk
.                         the boy,

.                                writing his way into b wjwje tfdsfu xpsme

This claim to be the first poem in the world to use coding to significant metaphorical effect. Anyone who has followed what I’ve said about “The Four Seasons” should have no trouble deciphering this. I consider it successful as a poem because I believe anyone reasonably skillful at cyrptographical games will be able (at some point if not on a first reading) to emotionally (and sensually) understand/appreciate the main things it’s doing and saying during one reading of it–i.e., read it normally to the coded part, then translate that while at the same time being aware of it as coded material and understanding and appreciating the metaphor its being coded allows.

I’ve decided “The Four Seasons” can’t work like that. It is a clever gadget but not an effective poem because I can’t see anyone being able to make a flowing reading through it and emotionally (and sensually) understanding/appreciating everything that’s going on in it and what all its meanings add up to, even after study and several readings. Being able to understand it the way I do in my explanation of it not enough. This is a lesson from the traditional haiku, which must be felt as experience, known reducticeptually (intellectually), too, but only unconsciously–at the time of reading it as a poem rather than as an object of critical scrutiny, which is just as valid a way to read it but different.

John Elsberg « POETICKS

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Entry 1560 — Just a Haiku

Friday, September 5th, 2014

It’s by John Elsberg & Erik Greinke–the last haiku of a 6-haiku sequence called “Basho’s Sandals” from Catching the Light (2009, Cervena Barva Press), a collection of 12 such sequences:

moonlight  on half the pond         I don't know  the splash beyond  

Really nice extension of Basho’s old pond poem. A minor but perfect touch is “moonlight” all by itself to begin. Major is the huge light/dark, known/unknown dichotomy after that. I’d have this in any best poetry of 2009 anthology.
.

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Entry 39 — 3 by Endwar

Thursday, December 10th, 2009

They’re from #674.

Communist-EvolutionCommunist Evolution

NoNoNoNo

TransgenderTransgender

#673 had two poems by John Elsbergs from his Runaway Spoon Press book, Broken Poems for Evita. One was this:

          RAISING EVA              (Or, the myth of art and politics)              L                  EVITA              tio        nis                   th           EPRE                         fer                   RED        al        TERN                         at        ivefor              thosewhona                t         UR                            ALLY          S                                                         inK

And that’s it for this entry.    (Am I feeling more worn out than ever for no reason?  Yes.)

haiku « POETICKS

Archive for the ‘haiku’ Category

Entry 134 — Ellipsis-Haiku

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

I’m still having “creative ideas” but having trouble bothering to put them on paper, even ones as easy to do that with as the ones that led to the following:

.

.

.

Good ideas (inspired by Marton Koppany’s recent Otoliths book) not yet finding their best presentation, it seems to me.

Entry 133 — Somewhat Awake Again, I Think

Friday, May 21st, 2010

I simply disconnected from my blog–just didn’t think of it for about a week until a day or two ago.  Then last night for some reason I started thinking about haiku and came up with the following poems that I thought worth making this entry for:

.

.                            early April night:
.                            barely a single haiku
.                            of moonlight in it

.

.                            the street’s cherry blooms,
.                            dazzling, yet almost grey
.                            besides the haiku’s

.

.

.

.

.

.

Entry 52 — Some Conventional Haiku

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

Today’s entry is a repeat of one from Christmas day, 2005, with a few comments from today at the end of it:

25 December 2005: “clenched sky.” That’s one of the scraps in the notebook yesterday’s entry was about. Circa 1983. Never got into any poem of mine but may yet. Another scrap is the start in fading cursive of a sonnet I completed somewhere else on Dylan Thomas. I was momentarily quite taken by what the word, “steepled” did to its fifth line, “by his construction of a steepled truth,” for it took a while for me to realize the word was not “stupid.”

Other highlights include the following five unpublished haiku:

rain now as loud
against the northern side of the house
as the roof

rotting log
only part of forest floor
to show through melting snow

glimpsed tanned shoulder;
thin white string across it,
tied like a shoelace

bikini-bar dancer
showing off to her boy-friend,
me in between them

far enough from the storm
nearing the color-dotted beach
to see above it

I wrote these about the time I pretty much stopped writing conventional haiku. I quite like the storm one, probably because I still vividly remember the first Florida storm I saw from far enough away to see above–and to both sides–of it. I don’t think it’s a truly outstanding haiku, though. The one about the bikini dancer is fair in the wry sardonicism vein, I think. The one about the bikini string is nearly not a haiku, for it doesn’t really provide any haiku contrast; i.e., it’s a single-image description. On second thought, maybe it’s excitement versus the mundane: girl in bikini versus shoelace.

I dunno. The other two are very standard, but I’ve tried to improve them,anyway:

the rain now louder
against the house’s north side
than on the roof

rotting log:
only portion of the forest floor
to show through the snow

The first is slightly haikuish in the way it obliquely discusses a wind; the second re-uses a very over-done haiku theme, to wit: life goes on, or–more specifically–winter snow won’t win; but the theme is slightly warped toward freshness with the use of something a reader will take to represent a cohort of winter rather than a counter to it, until he realizes the cause of rotting.

Also in the notebook this bit of High Sagacity: “The Eastern Wise Man attempts to reduce his awareness to the size of his experience; the Western Wise Man attempts to increase the size of his experience to the size of his awareness.” Yep, I’ve always been Eurochauvinistic.

From today:

rotting log;
nothing else of the forest floor
showing through the snow.

Entry 28 — Old Blog Entries 652 through 660

Sunday, November 29th, 2009

#652 had some gadgets by Richard Kostelanetz that I thought fun but trivial–4-letter words in squares, one letter in each quadrant.  The gimmick is that three of the letters, in upper-case, spell a word that becomes a second word with the addition of the fourth (lower-case) letter, as in

.                                         G O
.                                         o D

The anti-gimmick is the fact that very few of the too words disconcealed in each specimen relate enough to each other to achieve metaphoricality, or anything poetic else.  The above is the best one I could find among the bunch he sent me (and others of his literary friends).  Another problem is that such words are too easy to find–although I applaud Kosti for bringing their existence to our attention because they do provide word-game fun.

Several nice poems in #653 that I got from the June 2005 issue of Haiku Canada Newsletter, including this, by John M. Bennett:

.                                                Clou
.                                                laem
.                                                foam
.                                                   d

and these two haiku gems, the first by Cor van den Heuvel, the second by Grant  Savage:

 .          end of August--           .          a crinkled elm-leaf falls .          and rocks once           

.          on the park bench     .          this spring afternoon .          a new old man 

#654 featured wonderful pwoermds from LeRoy Gorman like “marshush,” “rainforust” and “riverb”; but I complained that powermds as pwoermds rather than as climaxes in longer lyrics had become boring for me.  I returned to my quest for a decent word to represent “partaker of artwork” in 655, reporting that I’d just coined “aesthimbiber” for that purpose.  I seem to have dumped it soon after that but think I should not have.   I like it right now.

After posting two works of J. Michael Mollohan in #656, which I put on display in yesterday’s entry, I discussed them in my next two entries.   A few lazy autobiographical paragraphs on my procrastination followed.  This set of ten entries (from a zine called Dirt) ended with an example of what can be done with pwoermds used as I’d like to see them used, as parts of longer poems:

                     Ight                     nowhere                                    lignt                     gnight                        lightninght                                         thwords                             now here

It’s by none other than Geof Huth, who calls it “A Series of Pwoermds.”

Entry 23 — An Old Haiku of Mine

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

Today was another bad day for me (because both my bikes had flat tires so I had to walk to where I had an MRI for my bad back, then walk to the bicycle shop two miles from there to get tubes before going on home, another two miles, so I’m just going to post one entry from my old blog, #631, in its entirety–because it’s one of my best entries for the general poetry public, I think:

24 October 2005: Well, we lost electricity in my neighborhood for seven or eight hours due to Wilma, but we got through it with minimal damage. Naples, to the south, didn’t do so well. Sad for them, but someone had to lose–and one good thing about the outcome is that the weather people seem to have been on top of things all the way through, which is certainly reassuring. In my ideal world there’d be hurricanes–but the land to persons ratio would be so high no one would have to live anywhere near places like Naples. There’d still be places like Naples, but they would be staffed by commuters, and lived in by vacationers. (Down with over-population–which in my book is anything over ten million–for the whole world.)

Okay, the poetry-related subject of this entry is the following poem:

.                                            2 children’s
.                                 rained-around dry quiet spot
.                                               within forsythia

This, or something like it, was in my first book, poemns. After selling some of the copies of the book, I found something wrong with one of the other three poems on the sheet it was on, so removed the whole sheet from the remaining copies of the book. I think the printers failed to make a line in one of the poems go off the edge of the page as I’d intended it to. I should have a copy of the four poems somewhere but it’d take me a week to find them if I tried to, I’m sure.


I’ve used this poem elsewhere since the book, I believe. I want to discuss it here cbecause I consider it a near-perfect example of what I try for as a poet, which is simply to render, in as few words as possible, an image that will cause others as much pleasure as possible. This one accomplishes this through its (1) subject matter, which is (a) quotidianly likely to elicit most persons’ sympathy, (b) pretty, children generally coming off as cute, and forsythia as beautiful, (c) peaceful, the rain having to be little more than mist not to be getting through forsythia branches, and, most important, (d) archetypally resonant by representing Shelter and Companionship, as well as Spring (rain and forsythia, and human beings in their spring); and its diction, which includes the wonderful rained/round rim thyme (but, not, I’m sure that’s not original with me), the with/syth near-=rhyme and the dry/qui aft-rhyme (or whatever it is I’m calling traditional rhymes). Only now, by the way, did I realize that the latter rhymes were near- or full-rhymes. The poem is also effectively concise, and it draws on its being a haiku, for that adds haiku-depth to it (via what it picks up from the tradition, and all haiku before–and after–it).

To me, one of its points of greatest interest is in what it does not have, mainly, manywhere-at-once, or equaphorical layering. In a way, this is a virtue, for it clarifies it into a moment of particular intensity. Amusingly, that emphasizes its being a pure haiku–albeit one without quite the right syllable-count. I do consider its lack of equaphors (or metaphors and the like), in the final analysis, a defect. I continue to believe the very best poems express two or more simultaneous images. But poetry as a whole would suffer consequentially if every poem were equaphorical.

Real life did inspire the poet, by the way. The forsythia in it is from the yard of the Hyde House, as it was known, on Harbor View Island in Norwalk, Connecticut, that I lived in between the ages of 7 and 12. It actually formed a sort of hut, though I’m not sure they could have kept out even mist. I played in it from time to time but most remember my sister Louise, a year younger than I, playing some kind of queen’s court game in it with her friends Ellen and Cindy.

Ironically, just the other day I learned that the Hyde House I’ve been reminiscing about is no more. It was leveled to make way for two condominiums that have to be devastating the ambiance of the shabby-genteel little clump of mostly vacation homes on the island. Progress triumphs again.

note: the large print is stupid, but I’m using it to indicate large blocks of quoted material because I haven’t been able to figure out how to indent at this site (other than use periods as with the poem quoted within my quote–which would take too long to get right for long prose passages).


Entry 9 — Poetry Employing Irrational Language

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

I have always wondered why anyone would make much of most Dada works.  It was evident that a good number of reasonably intelligent, sensitive people have, though.   Including friends of mine who have shown themselves quite capable of fashioning works I think vastly superior to their Dada works.

Then I came upon Geof Huth’s

.              the car I didn’t notice                              isn’t there

in the recentest issue of Haiku Canada Review.   Not Dada, but certainly nonsense, or so I at first thought.  I would now term it nearsense.   As

.              the crab boils filge at blargets       in the goamy fludge

it would have been nonsense, or a literary work which uses irrational language in order to amuse (in the view of most knowledgeable people encountering it).  As

.        car didn’t (e time)s into                       bleep blegg bllllg you

it would be constersense,  or a literary work whose textual matter seems chosen for no other purpose than to cause consternation–by seeming to be nearsense but ultimately not making sense, or proving amusing.

Then there’s temporary nonsense such as Joyce’s “cropse,” which at first seems either nonsense or constersense (and will always seem constersense to Philistines) but, given time, will quite rationally if poetically say “corpse” and “crops” simultaneously in succinctly sum up all the important cycles of human existence.

I have more to say about this, particularly about why the poem by Geof Huth is nearsense, but I’m too worn-out from another tiring day to do so until (I hope) tomorrow.

Entry 28 — Old Blog Entries 652 through 660 « POETICKS

Entry 28 — Old Blog Entries 652 through 660

#652 had some gadgets by Richard Kostelanetz that I thought fun but trivial–4-letter words in squares, one letter in each quadrant.  The gimmick is that three of the letters, in upper-case, spell a word that becomes a second word with the addition of the fourth (lower-case) letter, as in

.                                         G O
.                                         o D

The anti-gimmick is the fact that very few of the too words disconcealed in each specimen relate enough to each other to achieve metaphoricality, or anything poetic else.  The above is the best one I could find among the bunch he sent me (and others of his literary friends).  Another problem is that such words are too easy to find–although I applaud Kosti for bringing their existence to our attention because they do provide word-game fun.

Several nice poems in #653 that I got from the June 2005 issue of Haiku Canada Newsletter, including this, by John M. Bennett:

.                                                Clou
.                                                laem
.                                                foam
.                                                   d

and these two haiku gems, the first by Cor van den Heuvel, the second by Grant  Savage:

  .          end of August--            .          a crinkled elm-leaf falls  .          and rocks once           

.          on the park bench      .          this spring afternoon  .          a new old man 

#654 featured wonderful pwoermds from LeRoy Gorman like “marshush,” “rainforust” and “riverb”; but I complained that powermds as pwoermds rather than as climaxes in longer lyrics had become boring for me.  I returned to my quest for a decent word to represent “partaker of artwork” in 655, reporting that I’d just coined “aesthimbiber” for that purpose.  I seem to have dumped it soon after that but think I should not have.   I like it right now.

After posting two works of J. Michael Mollohan in #656, which I put on display in yesterday’s entry, I discussed them in my next two entries.   A few lazy autobiographical paragraphs on my procrastination followed.  This set of ten entries (from a zine called Dirt) ended with an example of what can be done with pwoermds used as I’d like to see them used, as parts of longer poems:

                     Ight                       nowhere                                      lignt                       gnight                          lightninght                                           thwords                               now here

It’s by none other than Geof Huth, who calls it “A Series of Pwoermds.”

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Entry 542 — Thoughts about Haiku

Monday, October 24th, 2011

Arriving with the latest issue of Haiku Canada Review was a broadside containing the winners of several haiku contests run by the Haiku Canada organization. The best, I felt, was the winner (by Pamela Cooper) of the Canada division:

                                        hanami picnic–
                                        more blossoms
                                        than sky

A hanami picnic is a traditional Japanese way of celebrating the flower blossom season, the comments by contest judge an’ya tells us.  The blossoms in question are generally cherry blossoms.  When I first read, and liked, this haiku, I quickly decided it was not quite A-1.  That’s because I failed to perceive any archetypal core, and I feel any haiku–any poem–requires that to be A-1.  It was an expression of Nature in an unusual state, delightfully evoking multitudes of cherry blossoms–and patches of sky.  Sensitivity, compactness (just six words), even a nice touch–for North Americans–of exotic foreignness.  Too bad it hadn’t the depth an archetypal core would have given it.

A day later, thinking about what I was going to type here, I realized I’d again been off.  Of course it had an archetypal core!  It referred, in fact, to what I consider the absolute top such feature there is: the coming of spring.

Roland Packer’s Poem, “fantasea,” featured here yesterday, is a “pwoermd,” or one-word poem. Is it also a haiku? It seems to be presented as one, sharing a page with conventional haiku (in French) in a magazine specializing in haiku.  It’s a juxtapositioning of two images in a sort of tension with each other, which is the best superficial description of what a haiku is, I think.  It’s about nature, and extremely compact.  Some would call it a senryu, taking it as a joke.  Iwouldn’t be upset by that, but I find it serious.  It reminded me of Keats’s “faery seas forlorn” (if I have that right), which those familiar with the Mind of Grumman will know is one of the few poetic ingots I continually return to in my poetry and criticism.  The Packer poem verysimply tells us of the vast sea that fantasy is–for me, splendid sea, although it might also be a harmful sea for those lost in it rather than in command of it. 

I think it worth noting that its last syllable brings what it mainly denotes out of the pure vague.  A sea is not a very specific detail but it is real, and sensually rich in local particulars to just about anyone encountering the word for it.  What most makes the poem a good one, though, is its freshness–the unexpectedness of its infraverbal twist.  What about its archetypal core?  I have to admit that a big problem with such a thing is that one can use ingenuity to find an example of it in almost any poem.  So an archetypal core I find in a poem may not be there for another reader, who may be as right, or righter, than I.  He may be wrong, too, for some covert archetypal cores will exist in poems their best readers find them in, as the one I found in the poem by Pamela Cooper.  The one I claim for “fantasea” is simply “man’s inexhaustible imagination”–or “the power (for good) of the human imagination.”  I suspect there are much better ways of putting that.  Maybe I’ll find one of them someday. 

Having to do with the same thing, for me, is the other haiku I posted yesterday, George Swede’s “bottomless, the well/  of dreams–a chickadee/ on the sill.”  Its imagined portion is its “well,” its reality its “chickadee.”  Fantasy and sea, imaginary garden and frog.  One of the best things of this is the contrast of the chickadee with the ultimate size of the well of dreams.  But also the suggestion of the fragility of life’s best partly dreamed, partly genuinely experienced moments–since the chickadee is apt to take flight at any moment.  I find the well in it fascinating, too–real enough for a bird to perch on a tiny part of it–projecting, that is, into full reality.  Note also that, as a well, it is something to draw from, which empasizes it as a source of the liquid from which the imagination creates the arts, without which life would not be worth living for most of us.

Entry 541 — Haiku Canada Review, Oct. Issue

Sunday, October 23rd, 2011

I just got the latest issue of Haiku Canda Review, long edited by my friend LeRoy Gorman.  The first poem in it that caught my eye was this, by Roland Packer:

And here’s a nice variation (it strikes me) on Yeats’s description of “imaginary gardens with real frogs in them” (and quoted by Marianne Moore):

                                       bottomless, the well
                                       of dreams–a chickadee
                                       on the sill

It’s by George Swede.  Discussion tomorrow of both, and–perhaps–others.

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Anny Ballardini « POETICKS

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Entry 1488 — Correction

Wednesday, June 18th, 2014

Anny Ballardini recently posted a haiku at NowPoetry about red cherries by Richard Wright with a second haiku about cherries under it that I took to be by Wright when I wrote about it there, and then posted that here, but which was actually by Anny.  Fortunately, I said nice things about it:

stole two red cherries  expensive in plastic baskets  under the electric light             me

Might as well say a little more about it.  I claim a haiku should try for a haiku moment, and a haiku moment should have archetypal resonance.  That brings us into subjectivity, I’m afraid.  But a critic should be able to show how a haiku he rates as effective as I consider this one to achieve a haiku moment of archetypal resonance.  Then the critic’s readers can decide for themselves whether he’s right or not.

(1) (to go through it again because Sound Practice can never be illustrated to many times!) I consider this haiku’s two images to be . . . well, it’s not that easy to sort it out; one image is a store’s expensive cherries bright lit; a second is the haiku’s speaker’s stealing two of them; but there is a third, the shoplifter all by herself, under an electric light (for me, “electric” in this crime scene, connotes the chair).  I would combine the first two–in tension with “me” because: (1) a physical act versus (suddenly) a psychological state; (2) a scene versus the tiny focal point of the scene (which I see as tinily inside the scene, the perpetrator seeing herself stealing).

(2) The tension is resolved almost instantly with the reader’s empathetic realization of an archetypal fear: the fear of being found out. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about instinctive human drives lately, and one of them I’m still trying to work out an effective description of is the need for the world’s approval.  Or the need, as here, to avoid sustaining the world’s disapproval.  I consider all major human drives to be archetypal, and this one is.  It’s what makes us such conformists, even the most eccentric of us behaving like everyone else at least 97% of the time.

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