I’m surprised Geof hasn’t posted this at his blog already, but since he hasn’t, I’ll post it here:

It’s a desecration, hence hilarious.  It’s also interesting evidence of the apparent popularity of Basho, although I doubt too many who see this strip will understand it.  Although they may still find it amusing.

Meanwhile, I was not feeling too good earlier–tired from running an errand, trying only partly successfully to mow my lawn–because of a malfunctioning mower–and doing my exercises, as well as my usual lack-of-sleep and blahness.  Then I noticed an ad I’ve seen before for a poetry contest with a first prize of $5000 in the latest issue of Poetry, which I have a review copy of.  I had been disgusted with a poem by David Ferry, winner of the $100,000 Ruth Lilly Poetry prize given by the foundation running Poetry, and featured in this issue of the magazine.  Result, I suddenly had a yen to enter the poetry contest–with a poem that could be paraphrased as “mathematics divided into poetry equals genius with a remainder of angrily befuddled Philistines accidentally exposed.”

That only made me briefly happy.  What boosted me into a much more durable happiness was my then knocking out good drafts of four new long division poems, three of which I doubt I’ll change but which will need visimages, which will probably be abstract-expressionist.  The fourth one won’t need much more, I don’t think.  One of the others still voices my hostility toward the morons who will probably be judging this contest with a comparison of superior poetry to “locations miles away from anywhere any certified American Poet has ever visited.”

Rattle, the magazine running the contest, is asking for up to four poems, so it makes sense to enter the maximum.  I will probably replace the hostile one with another new one (only new work is allowed), then publish all five when I lose the contest to poets at Ferry’s level (15 of them, each getting $100; one will later get the big prize).  One nice thing about the contest is that the finalists will be announced no later than 15 September.  I have to get my entries in by 1 August, though.

I have no chance of the big prize but my poems will be quite verbal, so I may, by a fluke, make it into the finals, which would generate some publicity for me.

 

 

 

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 10th, 2011 at 12:00 AM and is filed under Autobiographica, Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Alex Dickow, a friend of mine at New-Poetry, posted a link there to the following. Upon visiting the site, I immediately deemed it of sufficient importance to steal in totum for here:

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About the Journal | Instructions for Authors | Subscriptions | Archives

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Editor-in-Chief: Caleb Emmons

About the Journal The founding principle of the Journal of Universal Rejection (JofUR) is rejection. Universal rejection. That is to say, all submissions, regardless of quality, will be rejected. Despite that apparent drawback, here are a number of reasons you may choose to submit to the JofUR:

You can send your manuscript here without suffering waves of anxiety regarding the eventual fate of your submission. You know with 100% certainty that it will not be accepted for publication.

There are no page-fees.

You may claim to have submitted to the most prestigious journal (judged by acceptance rate).

The JofUR is one-of-a-kind. Merely submitting work to it may be considered a badge of honor.

You retain complete rights to your work, and are free to resubmit to other journals even before our review process is complete.

Decisions are often (though not always) rendered within hours of submission.

Instructions for Authors The JofUR solicits any and all types of manuscript: poetry, prose, visual art, and research articles. You name it, we take it, and reject it. Your manuscript may be formatted however you wish. Frankly, we don’t care.

After submitting your work, the decision process varies. Often the Editor-in-Chief will reject your work out-of-hand, without even reading it! However, he might read it. Probably he’ll skim. At other times your manuscript may be sent to anonymous referees. Unless they are the Editor-in-Chief’s wife or graduate school buddies, it is unlikely that the referees will even understand what is going on. Rejection will follow as swiftly as a bird dropping from a great height after being struck by a stone. At other times, rejection may languish like your email buried in the Editor-in-Chief’s inbox. But it will come, swift or slow, as surely as death. Rejection.

Submissions should be emailed to the Editor-in-Chief. Small files only, please. Why not just send the first couple pages if it is long?

Subscriptions An individual subscription may be secured for £120 per year (four issues). Institutional and library subscriptions are also available; prices will be provided upon enquiry. It is unknown whether the subscription will be delivered in print or as electronic content, because no one has yet ordered one.

Archives

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Note (from Bob): I’m feeling a little bit less unhappy about being A Colossal Universal Incompetent, at least enough to feel I may continue posting daily entries here.  Warning: I expect them to be almost entirely concerned with knowlecular psychology and its taxonomical basis for a while.  Oh, and for those planning biographies of me, you need to know that I actually did spend an hour or so attacking the untidiness of my house.  What I did specifically was remove over twenty shirts with collars that were hanging in my bedroom closet and toss them in a large cardboard box on the bed I now consider my storage room.  It used to be the cats’ room.  It’s the largest bedroom in the place, with bath, now a storage closet.  I also put aside four shirts with collars to give to Good Will.  I suspect most men would throw them out but I’d wear them if it weren’t that I now rarely have any reason, like having a substitute teaching assignment, to wear shirts with collars, and I’ve never liked such shirts.  I should no doubt give away the twenty shirts I tossed in the box, too, but I’m too much of a pack rat to do that–at least right now.

My ten or twelve best collared shirts are now all hanging in the closet here in my computer room (formerly a bedroom).  For weddings and funerals, stuff like that.  Once I’d cleared out all the collared shirts from my bedroom closet, I was able to hang up the many collarless shirts scattered through the house.  While at it, I hung my jacket and overcoat in my hall closet where they belong but rarely are–because, hey, pulling out a hanger, putting a coat on it, and the hanging it up seems like way too much trouble compared to just tossing them on a chair.

The house is a lot less cluttered, albeit still cluttered.  I hope to get rid of some books I’ve never read and never will, although I’ll be amazed if I do.  I need to get rid of my non-functioning Xerox, too.  I’m not sure whether or not it could be repaired but am sure the cost of repairing it, if possible, would not be worth it.  My little computer printer can do just about as good a job.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 23rd, 2011 at 12:00 AM and is filed under Autobiographica, Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.