POETICKS

Last night I was up between 2 and 5 because my house flooded.  A leak in my water heater.  It turned out well, though: because I can’t afford a new heater, I’ll be without hot water.  That means I don’t have a gas bill, anymore.  As for hot water, well, it’s nice to have, but it’s a luxury, like the car I’ve almost never had.  Very stressful, the leak, though–I was afraid for a while that a pipe under the house had burst.  That would have been very expensive to fix.

I don’t believe I react well to stress, but I do suspect I may have an unusually high sensitivity to the signals my brain gives off when it approaches breakdown.  Result: so far, I’ve always shut down before breaking down.  That is, I go into my null zone rather than go absolunically wacko.  My shell continues to do the everyday while the part of me that’s typing this basically gives up.  Meanwhile, Chipper, the little blue bunny rabbit who is also part of me never stops reminding me, usually subverbally, that I’ve been in the null zone before and things have always gotten better.   Dark thoughts occur, but never any plans for dark actions.

Well, I’m in my null zone again, so much so that the last two zoom-doses were unable to help me out of it.  Ergo, I’m going to tread water for a while, again.  I hope still to post one blog entry a day, but don’t expect to post any that’s more worth reading that a tweet.

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This entry was posted on Friday, June 14th, 2013 at 12:00 AM and is filed under Alan Shapiro, Autobiographica. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.