Entry 580 — “Poem Becomes Another Person” « POETICKS

Entry 580 — “Poem Becomes Another Person”

 

                                 Poem Becomes Another Person                 

                                 One day Poem spontaneously
                                 became another person, Problem.
                                 He shrugged it off.  His author no doubt
                                 no longer had any more chores for
                                 him as a combination poem/alter ego.
                                 He assumed he was still an alter ego–
                                 his author had never shown any ability to create
                                 a human being of any complexity at all
                                 that wasn’t 97% himself.

                                 Problem wandered around for several lines
                                 without being or encountering anything
                                 problematic. 

                                 Was that a problem?  He quickly
                                 spiffled a gumshoe, rhinestones
                                 being out of fashion. 

   

* * *

 

Wednesday, 30 November 2011, 4 P.M.  A pleasant-enough day.  I ran around seven this morning, planning to cover a mile but only was able to run half that.  I blame it on going too fast to begin with–after not having run for two or more weeks.  Not that I start all that fast.  After walking a little, I ran a little, and felt good.  I ran a hundred yards or so after that, feeling almost like I was really running.  After breakfast, I got another exhibition hand-out done, and worked some on my Hardy Boys mathemaku.  It’s not framed, so I’m replacing a framed one with it–mainly because I want to get the framed one unframed so I can scan it into my computer.  I have to have a computer copy of it somewhere but haven’t been able to find it.  Its framing was professionally done, so I don’t want to mess with it.  I’ll take it to the frame shop I’ve done business with and have the guy there switch poems.  Along the way, I had two short naps.  I feel pretty okay now.  I’ve done all my chores, getting a short blog entry out of the way a little while ago, and not having work on the book to do for a few more days.  Reading–another Clancy (mainly)–and A new game of Civilization, with my Civilization winning streak up to 3.

Later note: I wrote a second exhibition hand-out for the day, a little commentary on my Hardy Boys mathemaku.

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Entry 12 — Line Breaks « POETICKS

Entry 12 — Line Breaks

I may know as much as anyone in the world about the nature and function of lines breaks.  That’s not a major boast: there isn’t much to know about them, and understanding them doesn’t take research or study, just a little commonsensical thought.  I’m making them the subject of this entry because of a thread at New-Poetry I got involved with.  A few of the contributors to the thread seemed to me to be having trouble fully understanding the device.  Anyway, I’ve decided to write  a minor primer about it, bringing back my recent Poem poem to illustrate its simplest functions:

.                                  Another Failure

.                                  For half the night
.                                  Poem struggled mightily
.                                  to sing himself a sleep
.                                  that melted understandings into him
.                                  as intricately deepening as April rain
.                                  dislodging a woodland’s smallest wisdoms;
.                                  but nowhere in it did
.                                  anything extend beyond
.                                  its decimal point.

I will now repeat it, with a comment in purple under each of its lines:

.                                  Another Failure

.                                  For half the night

The poem’s first line-break notifies the reader that he’s in a poem, as does every poem’s first line-break; slows his read to force him to pay at least a little more attention to what’s going on in the language of the poem and what its expressing, particularly its imagery, as do all line-breaks; with the corroboration of the poem’s other lines, if the reader glances at them, informs him of the poem’s pace, in this case comparatively quick; gives his mind a resting place from the possibly difficult material of the poem (again, like all line-breaks); presents a hint (possibly misleading) of the kind of poem the will follow as to style, subject matter, rhythmic nature, technique, point-of-view, and the like, in this particular case, mainly suggesting quotidianness via a commonplace diction, and the representation of a highly standard image; and, finally, setting up a rhyme by leaving “night” in an emphazied location of the poem.

.                                  Poem struggled mightily

The poem’s second line-break does most of the things its first one did but also pretty much establishes the poem as free-verse, and puts “might” near its end to rhyme with the final word of the previous line.

.                                  to sing himself a sleep

The next line-break does little new, but the extra time it gives the reader may help prevent his reading “a sleep,” a key contributor to whatever value the poem has, too hurriedly.

.                                  that melted understandings into him

Coming a little late compared to the other line-breaks, this one is responsible for giving its line a feel of magnitude, importance; I believe it will be welcomed for the pause it provides the reader to think about just what its line and the preceding one mean

.                                  as intricately deepening as April rain

The next line-break lets its line extend even more.

.                                  dislodging a woodland’s smallest wisdoms;

Then a line-break halting its line somewhat sooner than the previous line-breaks halted theirs–perhaps indicating the we’ve reached the poem’s peak and are now quieting.

.                                  but nowhere in it did

Another short line, now, stopped before it says anything–stopped also on a word a more standard line-break would not have, to “merely’ keep the reader from being completely on balance.

.                                  anything extend beyond

The penultimate line-break does little more than prevent the reader from too quickly learning where the sentence he’s reading is going.

.                                  its decimal point.

The poem’s final line-break provides it with a sharp short clear end.

Any questions?

Additional comments: when I wrote this poem, I paid little attention to the line-breaks I was making–they came pretty much naturally.  I’m sure that’s the way it wis with most composers of free verse.  The “did” I thought about before going with, though, and I think I came back to one pair of lines that sounded wrong, and change the line-break between them.

A reader, too, if experienced, ought not pay much conscious attention to the lineation of a work of free verse–but, if effective, it will have a great deal of influence on his understanding of the poem.

One last comment: in the right hands–those of E. E. Cummings, for example–line breaks can be employed to do much more of value in a poem than they do in “Another Failure.”

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