Entry 596 — A Final Version of my Sonnet, Again « POETICKS

Entry 596 — A Final Version of my Sonnet, Again

I couldn’t stay way from it.  I kept running it through my mind since posting the previous version here a week or two ago, finally coming up with the version below the night of 15 December.  Note, each line should be pronounced as an iambic pentameter, including the third.     

     Sonnet from My Forties

     Much have I ranged the kingdoms Stevens forged
     Of deeply penetrating inquiries
     Into, and deft use of, the metaphor,
     And volumes filled in vain attempts to reach

     The heights that he did. Often, too, I’ve been
     To where the small dirt’s awkward first grey steps
     Toward high-hued sensibility begin
     In Roethke’s verse, or measured the extent

     Of wing-swirled, myth-electric, royal light
     That Yeats achieved, or marveled down the worlds
     That Pound re-morninged splashingly to life,
     But failed as dismally to match their works.

     Yet still, nine-tenth insane though it now seems,
     I seek those ends; I hold to my huge dreams.

 Diary Entry

Friday, 16 December 2011, 11:30 A.M.  I have a few small exhibition-bookkeeping chores yet to do that I’m letting go for this weekend so I can concentrate on the stack of reviews for Small Press Review I have to do.  One of them will be of I, a novella by Arnold Skemer that I find excellent but a very slow read, in the best sense of the description. 

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Entry 586 — “Sonnet from My Forties” « POETICKS

Entry 586 — “Sonnet from My Forties”

While hunting this morning for an essay of mine that had something in it I wanted to tell Richard Kostelanetz about, I came across a copy of Jake Berry’s zine, The Experioddicist, and found a version of the sonnet of mine I wrote about in my Of Manywhere-at-Once.  I spent months on it, never getting it right, then continued working on it on and off–until now, never getting it right.  I often thought for a while I had.  That’s the case now.  The version in The Experioddicist isn’t quite right, but I immediately saw how I thought I could change it so it was: here’s the once again final version:

     Sonnet from My Forties

     Much have I ranged the broad-skied latitudes
     That Stevens festivalled his inquiries
     On truth and the imagination to,
     And reams used up in vain attempts to reach

     The heights that he did. Often, too, I’ve been
     To where the small dirt’s awkward first grey steps
     Toward high-hued sensibility begin
     In Roethke’s verse, or measured the extent

     Of wing-swirled, myth-electric, royal light
     That Yeats achieved, or marveled down the worlds
     That Pound re-morninged windily to life,
     but failed as dismally to match their works.

     Yet still, nine-tenth insane though it now seems,
     I seek those ends; I hold to my huge dreams.

Okay, now that I’ve typed it out, I’m not so enthusiastic about it.  I changed line 3 from “On truth and metaphor in due course to” to “On truth and the imagination to,” a definite improvement.  The first stanza still doesn’t quite do it for me, but the rest of the poem seems fine–or would, I’m sure, if I hadn’t read and reread it some many hundreds of times.  Needless to say, it’s in the old-fashioned mode of Hopkins/Yeats/Thomas and probably over-rich–certainly to today’s taste.  It’s somewhat redeemed by its use of reversed rhymes (which are full rhymes, not alliterations).  It still sums up my life in poetry, though–alas.

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Tuesday, 6 December 2011, 5 P.M.  A non-productive day, although I did try to get a few things done.  Mainly, I spent a couple of hours getting a copy of terms that are for use in my “Mathemaku for Scott Helmes”–twice, the second time because I needed them a different size.  (Actually, I plan to have a full-size version of the work, and a smaller one, so I can use both sets of terms.)  Earlier, another round of tennis, which went fairly well for me, for a change.  A second breakfast with teammates at the nearby McDonald’s followed.  Later I had a doctor’s appointment to get through and some grocery shopping to do.  I got some new medicine for my continuing urinary problems.  Right now I’m weary, as usual.  I feel, as I often do, that if I could just go to bed and go to sleep for twelve or thirteen hours, I’d be a new man.  But, although I’m more than sleepy enough than I should need to be to go to sleep, the chances are I wouldn’t be able to get to sleep, nor stay asleep for even as much as an hour if I did.

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